Category Archives: Kids Jokes

jokes for kids, of kids

Season pass

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule … Continue reading

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Something to play with

natural-cock-cactus

When I was growing up I was so poor if I wasn’t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.

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Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention

woman enjoying mens-underwear

80,000 blondes are gathered for a Blondes Are Not Stupid convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. … Continue reading

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How to bath a cat

How to bath a cat

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open … Continue reading

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Bad education

Bad education

Its Christmas at a normal family’s home…. 4 year old sister, mom, dad, 16 year old sister and 14 year old brother. Mom in the kitchen stuffing the turkey. All of a sudden turkey falls off counter and mom goes … Continue reading

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Period

kids kissing in classroom

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them … Continue reading

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A child’s pray

A child

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.” The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next … Continue reading

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Father Christmas gift

funny Santa: clean your fuck chimney

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading

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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading

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Holding for ransom

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of presents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray. “God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I … Continue reading

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Glad Ass, Happy Butt

combing-hais-mother-and-daughters

It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said, “Honey I don’t think that’s your name you need to go to the principal’s … Continue reading

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Blonde father

kim-jong-un-holding-durex

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a … Continue reading

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Wise old man

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young … Continue reading

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Sex or secs

young-girls-in-disneyland

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is Sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to … Continue reading

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Mother-in-law

funny-mating-giraffe-and-horse

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking. To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from … Continue reading

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10 things your mom would never say to you

combing-hais-mother-and-daughters

10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading

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Plus sign

funny-kangaroo

A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After … Continue reading

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Revenge

you-take-the-woman-I-take-her-drink

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to … Continue reading

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Discrimination

boys-like-balls

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ”Well, I played in the sandbox,” she said. The teacher said, ”If you can spell sand, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” So Susie … Continue reading

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