Category Archives: Holiday Jokes

all jokes on holidays

Pretend we’re married

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading

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If men ruled the world

so-many-cctvs

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading

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Why women wear white on their wedding day?

high-heel-yoga-girl-reading

Why do women wear white on their wedding day? All major kitchen appliances come in white.

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Guess who?

the-best-place-for-fishing

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ”Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading

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A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Singing parrot

funny-wrong-job-music-player

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. ”It’s beautiful!” cried the man, ”Does … Continue reading

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Thanksgiving in the UK

funny-pose-I-can-find-the-bird

A few years ago, an American and a British journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio program. The American asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the UK. “Yes,” the British journalist replied, “but we celebrate it on the 6th … Continue reading

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Surprise

photo-bomb-naked-man

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading

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Good sons

photo-bomb-dog-mating

Three women started boasting about their sons. “What a birthday I had last year!” exclaimed the first. “My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends.” … Continue reading

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On the roof

shooting-the-cheater-caught

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so … Continue reading

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Redneck Christmas shopping

funny-drinking-cheers-in-commencement

You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

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Funny and real instruction labels…

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving … Continue reading

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The wino

i-love-balls

As it was a beautiful day, a woman decided to stretch out on a park bench and soak up the sun. After ten minutes, a down-and-out wino came over to her and said: “Hi, gorgeous. How about you and me … Continue reading

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Care for mother-in-law

offline finally in the tomb

A man, his wife and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for £5,000, or you can bury her here … Continue reading

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Woman’s Intelligence

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please … Continue reading

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Country-club party

funny-wrong-job-atm-operator

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and … Continue reading

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An experiment

most-wanted-valentines-day-gift

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine’s Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely,”Um, would … Continue reading

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Just three words

funny-and-creative-bra-designs-japan

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub in a Valentine’s day night. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked … Continue reading

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Valentine’s day dream

photo-bomb-horse-face

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. … Continue reading

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To my one and only love

valentine-day-gift-condom

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading

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