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Category Archives: Family Jokes
Gift for mother-in-law
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged birthday, cemetery plot, gift, husband, mother-in-law, wife Leave a comment
Woman’s age
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged age, cosmetics, hair, husband, mirror, skin, wife, woman Leave a comment
Life pattern
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged Adam, apple, child, Eve, God Leave a comment
Sandy was drinking at a pub
Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes Tagged bar, bed, drink, sleep, wheelchair, wife Leave a comment
A loyal wife
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged casket, check, husband, money, wife Leave a comment
The guardian angel
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. ” Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged angel, marriage, street Leave a comment
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged car, gift, scale, wedding, wife Leave a comment
Your horse called up
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged horse, husband, pants, telephone, wife Leave a comment
Wife knows everything
For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. No longer need them — damn wife knows everything!!
How to bath a cat
I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes Tagged animal, bath, cat, claw Leave a comment
Relationship guide
For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged family, guide, husband, man, relationship, wife, woman Leave a comment
Mother in law
A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged dog, fire, man, mother-in-law, son, wife Leave a comment
The fruits of love
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged condom, honeymoon, man, marriage, resort, sex, woman Leave a comment
Hearing problem
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, ”Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” ”Well,” … Continue reading
He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!
70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged God, pee, refrigerator, toilet Leave a comment
Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date
1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged date, father, girl friend, sex, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
Period
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged child, classroom, period, sex Leave a comment
Arbor Day
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged gift, husband, sex, wife Leave a comment
Top 10 differences between man and woman
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged man, top 10 list, woman Leave a comment
The right choice
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed … Continue reading