Category Archives: Texas Jokes

I am still winning

public-entrance

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. So she went to the coke machine and put her money in, and a coke came out so she kept putting money in it, … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Hot bath

book-bathtub

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he’d become comfortable, the front doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on terry cloth slippers and a large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Let me hold your monkey

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Register wedding gifts

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses … Continue reading

Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Expensive perfume

pussy-and-cat

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, ”Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very … Continue reading

Posted in New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Wonderful time

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hillbilly math

book-planter-smart-plant

A Hillbilly family’s only son had saved up money to go to college and after about 3 years he came back home. They were sitting around the dinner table when the dad said, ”Well son, you have  gone to college … Continue reading

Posted in Campus Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Redneck Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Golfing buddy

beard-can-hold-ping-pong

There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes, Tennessee Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Country Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shooting an elephant

funny-handgun-bag

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold its trunk until it goes blue and the shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Posted in Animal Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Blonde’s horses

cigarette-glasses

A blonde buys two horses and she can’t tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse’s tail gets … Continue reading

Posted in Animal Jokes, Blonde Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Veterinarian Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Bush, Cheney and the deer

Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket

Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck, and were dragging it by the legs back to their car, when they were approached by a seasoned old hunter. “Hello, Mr. President, and Vice President. If I may please make … Continue reading

Posted in Animal Jokes, Holiday Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Three girls in the desert

funny-woman-on-beach

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought … Continue reading

Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Naked pole vaulting

camera-woman-in-summer

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking girl and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother … Continue reading

Posted in Alabama Jokes, Alaska Jokes, American Jokes, Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am married to your sister

funny-wedding-costume-mask

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.  She dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blonde on a diet

how-yoga-girls-use-laptop

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days — “Eat anything and everything you … Continue reading

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Surprise dinner

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she … Continue reading

Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Golden urinal

drunken-sleeping-girl-Russian-girl-and-vodka

A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls … Continue reading

Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Heavenly Reward

bikini-girl-on-beach

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading

Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

FBI interview

boob-vision

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ”To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next … Continue reading

Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment