Category Archives: Country Jokes

Jokes for some countries

Valentine’s day gift for ex-wives

photo-bomb-mating-animals

A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for … Continue reading

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Things people really said in court

checking-boyfriend-bird

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? … Continue reading

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Price of heart

funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money … Continue reading

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cat scan and lab tests

hot-dog-mating-monkey

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body … Continue reading

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Job interview

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. “In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” … Continue reading

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Cross the Ohio River

girls-fishing-with-bra

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye … Continue reading

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The most confusing day

public-entrance

What is the biggest day of confusion in West Virginia? Father’s Day.  

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He wasn’t dead yet

public-entrance

George W. Bush ran into Colin Powell`s office exclaiming, “Dick Cheney hanged himself in his bathroom!” Colin Powell says “Oh, No! Did you cut him down?” “Cut him down?” asks George W. “How could I cut him down? He wasn’t … Continue reading

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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Matzo ball soup

funny-bush-picking-up-phone

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya’s friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George … Continue reading

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TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX….

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get … Continue reading

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Screw or twist

bikini-girl-on-beach

It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby’s a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue’s father answers and … Continue reading

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I can’t get into your panties!

checking-boyfriend-bird

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put … Continue reading

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Performance evaluations

terrosists-in-beach

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading

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A Tennessee divorce

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce, can they still be brother and sister?

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They won’t let you fart

funny-celebration-smoking-and-longevity

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a … Continue reading

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Why I am so tired?

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of this country is 237 … Continue reading

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FBI will do it for you

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Allen, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his … Continue reading

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Pope in New York

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading

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Only when he’s drunk

safety-driving-school

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading

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