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Category Archives: Church and God Jokes
God is missing
Two 6 year old boys were attending religious school and giving the teachers problems. The teachers had tried everything to make them behave – time outs, notes home, missed recesses – but could do nothing with them. Finally the boys … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged child, God, priest, school
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Toilet brush
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag door prize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. ”What the hell is this?” he asks the pastor. ”Why, it’s a toilet brush.” … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged church, paper, pastor, toilet brush
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Family history
One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. “How did I get here, Mommy?” she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, “Why God sent you, Honey.” “And did God send you too, Mommy?” she continues. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged child, daughter, family, God, mother, sex
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Bra types
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife” What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged Baptist, bra, Catholic, man, Salvation, wife
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Was Jesus Jewish,Irish, Purerto Rican, Italian, Californian, or Black?
PROOF THAT JESUS WAS Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business. 2. He lived at home until the age of 33. 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God. PROOF … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Country Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged brother, California, God, Irish, Italian, Jesus, Jewish, marriage, mother
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Where is the God?
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys’ mother … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged boy, child, church, God, priest
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God will save him
It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged America, boat, California, flood, God, helicopter
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The wishing well
A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged death, husband, marriage, penny, wife, wish, wishing well
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Drawing God
A Kindergarten teacher was walking around the classroom observing the students while they were drawing. Stopping at the desk of one little girl who was working hard on her drawing, the teacher asked what the girl was drawing. The girl … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged drawing, girl, God, kindergarten, teacher
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Black eyes
A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged choir, eye, girl, guy, priest, punch, wedgie
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Three hymns
One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged church, donation, Hymn, man, pastor, sex, woman
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Watch out for the wall
A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged casket, ceremony, funeral, husband, wife
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Rejected
These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged beer, heaven, husband, marriage, money, St. Peter, wife
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Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?
There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged court, God, heaven, hell, lawyer, Satan, St. Peter, worker
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Bill Gates in hell
Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged beach, Bill Gates, computer, demo, heaven, hell, screen saver, St. Peter, woman
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Heal, not raise the dead
An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it’s soon time for the healing portion of the show. “If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged death, God, husband, penis, TV, wife
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Adam, Eve, and God
“God,” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?” “So you would love her.” “But why did you make her so dumb?” “So she would love you.”
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged Adam, Eve, God, love, man, stupid, woman
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How was man created?
After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked. “It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged breast, bull, cow, Eve, God, man, mate, tit, woman
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Goddamn it
A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped. He yelled “Goddamn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged car, God, lord, man, priest
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Men in heaven
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged God, heaven, hell, man, woman
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