Category Archives: Church and God Jokes

jokes on church and God related issues

God is missing

a-curious-baby-checking-mother-buttocks

Two 6 year old boys were attending religious school and giving the teachers problems. The teachers had tried everything to make them behave – time outs, notes home, missed recesses – but could do nothing with them. Finally the boys … Continue reading

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Toilet brush

funny-woman-without-head

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag door prize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. ”What the hell is this?” he asks the pastor. ”Why, it’s a toilet brush.” … Continue reading

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Family history

look-like-girl-and-dog

One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. “How did I get here, Mommy?” she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, “Why God sent you, Honey.” “And did God send you too, Mommy?” she continues. … Continue reading

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Bra types

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife” What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the … Continue reading

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Was Jesus Jewish,Irish, Purerto Rican, Italian, Californian, or Black?

why-you-should-not-study

PROOF THAT JESUS WAS Jewish: 1. He went into his father’s business. 2. He lived at home until the age of 33. 3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God. PROOF … Continue reading

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Where is the God?

funny-boy-finding-food-in-refrigerator

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys’ mother … Continue reading

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God will save him

secret-operation

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the … Continue reading

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The wishing well

photo-bomb-naked-man

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. … Continue reading

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Drawing God

child-cheater-angry-child

A Kindergarten teacher was walking around the classroom observing the students while they were drawing. Stopping at the desk of one little girl who was working hard on her drawing, the teacher asked what the girl was drawing. The girl … Continue reading

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Black eyes

camera-woman-checking-skirts

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading

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Three hymns

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to … Continue reading

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Watch out for the wall

woman is less important than  bicycles!

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading

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Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

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Where are you going to find a lawyer in the heaven?

cheater-girl-with-boyfriends-friend

There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death. He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said ”Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been … Continue reading

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Bill Gates in hell

sexy-techy-girl

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”. … Continue reading

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Heal, not raise the dead

funny-gay-monkeys

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it’s soon time for the healing portion of the show. “If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on … Continue reading

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Adam, Eve, and God

funny-petition-gay-marriage-killed-the-dinosaurs

“God,” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?” “So you would love her.” “But why did you make her so dumb?” “So she would love you.”

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How was man created?

funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked. “It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just … Continue reading

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Goddamn it

funny-woman-parking

A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped. He yelled “Goddamn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name … Continue reading

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Men in heaven

funny-pose--delicious

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

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