Category Archives: Car Jokes

jokes related to car, bus, and traffic police

Designated decoy

drunken-sleeping-girls-i-want-more

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, waiting for a bust. At closing time, everyone came out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking … Continue reading

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Bill Gates and General Motors

sexy-Internet-explorer-girl

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. “If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades,” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it … Continue reading

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Toy cars and breastices

porn-snow-man

What do women’s breasts and toy cars have in common? They’re meant for kids but dads end up playing with both!

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Parking lots and man

funny-blonde-parking-2

How are men and parking spots the same? All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped!

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Shoot the pig

sexy-police-girls-policewoman

A farmhand is driving ’round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my … Continue reading

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Road sign for Disneyand

funny-car-toys

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.” So they went home.

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Best excuse for speeding

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped … Continue reading

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Bug’s end

funny-kid-i-pad-myself

Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? A: It’s ass.

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Horse power

funny-dogs-queue-for-peeing-on-a-tree

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull … Continue reading

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Third wish

funny-double-deck-car

This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. Lo and behold it was a very old oil lamp. The … Continue reading

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Blonde and Cop

funny-blonde-parking

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. ”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next … Continue reading

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How was your date last night, Billy?

funny-blonde-parking-2

“How was your date last night, Billy?” his friend asked. “Fabulous. We went to the concert, had a bite to eat, and then we drove around for a while until I found a nice dark spot to park. I asked … Continue reading

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The intelligent car radio

funny-lady-parking

A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around … Continue reading

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A job interview

funny-blonde-parking

Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading … Continue reading

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Essential desert objects

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them. The first guy decides to take an umbrella, … Continue reading

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Donuts

A cop pulls over a guy. “Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?” “Gee, officer,” the man says. “Your eyes are awfully glazed — have you been eating doughnuts?”

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Just A Juggalo

A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys’ car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat. “Sir,” the cop says. “Why do you have … Continue reading

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Suspenders

Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped. The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it. Then he gets on … Continue reading

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Real Stories of the Non-Technical

REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICAL I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person who answered said, “Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?” ——————————– I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip … Continue reading

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I am not a drunk driver

A cop pulls over a car that’s been swerving across the lanes of a road. “Get out of the car, please.” “But I’m not drunk, officer!” “Listen, it doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or not. If you don’t get out … Continue reading

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