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Category Archives: Car Jokes
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy … Continue reading
A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. ”Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a … Continue reading
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: “Parking for drive-through customers only!”
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?” ”Why sure,” said … Continue reading
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control … Continue reading
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. ”What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. … Continue reading
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS … Continue reading
At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 … Continue reading
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. “Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she … Continue reading
The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way … Continue reading
One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. “Driver? Can I drive for a while?” “Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the … Continue reading
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,”When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say … Continue reading
A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought … Continue reading
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, ” do ya see any cops following us?” The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, … Continue reading
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading
A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he’d become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was … Continue reading