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Author Archives: JokesLab
Butterfly
Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
Not my dog
There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ”Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes Tagged bite, dog, hound, man, newspaper, traveller Leave a comment
Gift for mother-in-law
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged birthday, cemetery plot, gift, husband, mother-in-law, wife Leave a comment
Four men and their dogs
Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T- square trotted over to … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged accountant, animal, chemist, dog, engineer, government worker, milk, refrigerator Leave a comment
Season pass
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Kids Jokes Tagged boy, campus, dormitory, fine, girl, student Leave a comment
Tight Dress
As the bus pulled up, Angie realized she was going to have a difficult time getting on. Her dress was too tight for her to step up, her hands were full of packages, and the line of people behind her … Continue reading
Computer gender
Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. They are … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Computer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List Tagged accessory, computer, data, female, gender, language, male, sex Leave a comment
Woman’s age
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged age, cosmetics, hair, husband, mirror, skin, wife, woman Leave a comment
Microsoft tech drafted
One of Microsoft Network’s finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes Tagged army, finger, Microsoft, network, rifle, tech support Leave a comment
French horn
A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, “Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?” “Nah,” the first girl replied. “That dry, tight, tiny … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Music Jokes Tagged date, horn, kiss, music, roommate, trumpet, tuba Leave a comment
Smart Dog
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in … Continue reading
Fight between the musicians
At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight. He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about. The oboe player says, “He broke my … Continue reading
Life pattern
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes Tagged Adam, apple, child, Eve, God Leave a comment
Just fake it
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. “Help!” cried the cellist, “I can’t swim!” “Don’t worry,” said the violist, “just fake it.“
Sandy was drinking at a pub
Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes Tagged bar, bed, drink, sleep, wheelchair, wife Leave a comment
Texan with a new car
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Country Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes Tagged bar, car, cowboy, friend, Texas Leave a comment
A rare book
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” Gasped … Continue reading
Red Cross
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes Tagged donation, office, red cross, rescue, ski, traveller Leave a comment
A loyal wife
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes Tagged casket, check, husband, money, wife Leave a comment
Indian weather prediction
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the … Continue reading
Posted in Country Jokes, Office Jokes, Science Jokes Tagged Indian, weather, winter, wood Leave a comment
